Growing up with two older sisters, who are dwarf size.(one was 4'9" 85 lbs the other 4'10" 95 lbs, I never had a good self image. Now I was not overweight, but because I was always "larger" than them, at 5ft 2, 115lbs,( I mean, i think from age 3, i weighed as much as they did and my boobs outgrew theres when i turned 12). Anyway I would always hear comments from well meaning people like, "WHOA what are you feeding that one", or, "Hey. i see who's eating all the food in your household"-and it wasn't just one or two people, it was everybody. For some reason, those comments stuck with me for a long time. I always felt like the "big one". No matter how much people told me how beautiful i was or pretty, the fat thing stuck in my head. Really people if theres a kid who's a little bigger than the other kids you have, doesn't mean there's something wrong with the big kid, just means there's something wrong with the other ones. (trust me i know this). Now It didn't cause me to have food issues, not really, I just didn't ever learn to love myself..Your twenties are always a hard time anyway as far as "coming into your own" and stuff. Low-self esteem coupled with a bad relationship makes for a really bad combo.I guess like my main reason for sharing this with you-is now that I'm in my thirties, I'm finally able to see just how wonderful I am. Now that I am alone, and not focused on "his issues" I am finally able to get to the bottom of mine. I won't get into all of them-(ha not NOW anyway -I will spare you that for another time fo sho)

Have you ever heard that song Poor Little Rich Girl by Hall n Oates? Well I hadn't either, but I entered in my birthdate and year into one of those websites that tells you what song was #1 when you were born, and thats the one that came up. Anyway-I've never really heard the whole song, but how true to my life could those words be? Like there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, but because of innocent comments by observers, I internally felt sorry for myself, and felt fat, and gross. And I was perfectly normal, I was actuallly short in the "real world!" and attractive. Like wut? I had that poor little fat girl mentality for nothing! Damn all the cute clothes I could have worn had I realized that i was not fat, but curvy, with a rockin' bod. Now of course I don't weigh 115 anymore. I am at 135-138 give or take (depending on the day). I never have had the attention that i get now by other people, because I didn't have the confidence for it. Now I have the confidence and don't know what to do with all the attention.. (I'm learning real quick).

I have someone in my life, who loves me exactly as I should, and exactly as I deserve to be loved. I was told, "You deserve so much more than ANY MAN could EVER give you! I am privileged you touch my life!" That's a huge statement.

My name is Stephanie, and i deserve all the happiness that life has to offer and I am embracing it and loving every minute of it.(whether I'm skinny/thick/fat/curvy)

xoxo